I write from experience, and I am always open to suggestions. That is probably why I am writing it all down. Coping with depression

I was once diagnosed with Depression, the type that we all fear and the one that could haunt you for the rest of your life. The diagnosis was conclusive and I had a hell of a time digesting the news since I have felt that same way for as long as i could remember. I have read in the past dozens of books on Psychology, Psychotherapy and the like but I never thought of applying any of it on myself. That thought just never came into my mind. I have always felt down at times or sad but I always assumed as from my history that it is just a part of life. Life is hard and cruel. Until the day it became extremely worse and I couldn’t cope with it anymore.

I wanted to talk about it. Damn it.
I wanted to scream.
I wanted to yell.
I wanted to shout about it.
But all I could do, was whisper
“I’m fine”

— Unknown

There are two major things we need to understand about Depression. These two things are the only things that matter at the time a person decides they want to make some changes in their lives and fight back the depression lingering inside them. First major part is the Human Mind, and the Second major part is the Human Body. One thing I didn’t know before is that similar to how the Mind could affect our physical body, the Body has the ability to do the same to the mind.

What I am talking about is the emotional physical senses of the body. Emotions are hard to explain. Most of our emotions originate from the mind but linger around within us. These lingering emotions start to feed on our physical body and on other emotions until it finds a way to manifest itself or a way out. From my understanding, these emotions sometimes never find a way out and are trapped inside us feeding on other scraps of emotions. Once these scraps are no longer enough they will feed on different parts of the body, starting with the brain. The more feelings that get trapped inside the worse it gets and less emotions pass through to manifestation. At this point we feel dead inside, as if nothing matters anymore and nothing can ever fulfill the void inside.

Coping with depression might seem simple enough to deal with, or to cure, or to treat. It’s not, as these emotions get trapped and we get to a point where the feeling is too much, our brain switches to defensive mode. It does that so it could cope with the changes the person is going through and restructures itself to deal with the loss of emotions manifesting or finding their way out. This is when very important parts of the brain actually shrink. (see video)

The treatment process that I decided to eventually take was non medicinal. I was not mentally ready to go through a medical treatment, I wanted to at least try and do it by myself. I divided my treatment process into 3 things to follow and I wrote them down and tried my best to follow each step at least once a week.

One thing I learned a long time ago was that people can not change their behavior, habits or routines instantly or in a few days. The only way for a real change is to do it, gradually increasing over a long period of time.

First thing was sports, once a week for 30 min and then gradually over the weeks i started adding to it till I got to a point where I was doing sports 3 times a week for 1 hr each time. This really helped me focus my time. It also helped me in establishing a daily schedule. One important thing to keep in mind is not to repeat the same schedule every week else I would be shifting from one routine to another. That wouldn’t help at all since I would be in the same position I was before so I decided to switch the days every week and some weeks add more days and other weeks reduce them. I walk a good amount every day from/to work that also helps in keeping a healthy rhythm.

Second thing was reading, I read a lot of books but my reading was never consistent. I used to read a book one month and the other after two month so i decided to schedule my reading as well. That took my mind off of the routine things that used to keep me up all night like watching TV series or playing online games. Having a healthy 1 hr read every night helps reduce the pressure off the eyes from the light of TV or computer or mobile screens that prevent the mind from relaxing.

Third and most important is the sleeping pattern. It was very hard at first but after a while i got used to it. I used to stay up all night not because I wanted to but simply because I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t get my head/body to fall asleep every night. So I set a time to sleep and time to wake up. Even though I couldn’t cope with the timing at first but i forced myself to do it, even if I had to lay in bed all night, I would without any interruptions like phone, TV or anything else. After a while i started falling asleep faster and a while later my sleep pattern changed. Sleep pattern is how we make it and the more we stay awake at night the more we our body gets used to it and that makes it harder to actually sleep early, even if we really wanted to.

In conclusion, by gradually and over a long period of time i managed to change my habits and routines to the better. It made me happier and more energetic. I am a long way from relief and a long way from actually getting rid of this void I feel. Depression is more intense and more devastating and more destructive than anything I have ever seen. Doing this will help a lot in coping with depression and getting rid of depressive thoughts but it doesn’t heal a person completely especially if that person had been suffering through depression for a very long time. I still refuse and wouldn’t see myself being treated by professional doctor simply because I want to fix myself. i see this as a personal problem and it is within my nature to solve my own problems no matter how big they are. I always tell people to ask for help when they need it but i never apply it to myself. I guess you can say I am stubborn or selfish and maybe one day I would seek help… but not today.