I never understood the reason why people always force themselves and their ideas onto others without ever considering the other side of the story. It is always within human nature to look at things from their own perspective and act on it even if they were warned of the consequences. Eventually I have come up with the conclusion and an answer to that question that has nothing to do with the act itself but more with the result of the act in question.

To say that love is complicated and not easy to explain means whoever is saying that has never experienced real love. I know for a fact that there are different types of love and each one is cosmically different than the other. A good example is one saying “I love eating Pizza”, and that same person telling their partner “I love you”.

For a person to be labeled as “selfish”, he or she needs to be in a position of doing something with the knowledge that whatever they are doing will have positive results on themselves but negative results to people around them, yet they do it anyway. And in that specific scenario there are two inescapable facts that would cause such a person to act this way. The first thing is what that person learned and experienced in their lifetime, and the second is how they were raised including all the influences of their respective society.

The ultimate combination of both selfishness and lack of experience when it comes the real love, lead people to come up with the same formula of: X + A = L. That is L for Love, X for Person, and A for action. The belief that a person plus their actions signify the extent of their love to the other, which is not wrong per se. The only problem is not that the formula is wrong, or that the formula is applied wrong, it’s the very existence of the formula. Knowing it is a sign of wisdom, On the contrary, applying that formula is shown to be a sign of weakness.

The problem was always there, but it was very limited. For generations now, people tend to have some expectations of what is to come from a certain relationship but at that time, their choices were limited. Thus limiting the possibility of that relationship ever ending to be something other than what is destined for them. In most cases, these relationships grew to be very strong and resulted in a healthy life full of love and happiness. In present days, choices are no longer limited, the possibilities are endless and people have more time to think through what they want. With emphasis on the word “Want”.

What a person wants or think they want. (a person can live without having what they want as long as their needs are met.)

A person can not survive without their needs being met (a need is something inescapable like eating, going to the bathroom, having a netflix subscription, etc…)

I will end this with one of the most inspiring videos I watched and is also posted in my Monthly Featured Video Collection, is the one where Abraham Twerski explains in his own way people’s approach on what love is.