I never understood the reason why people always force themselves, their ideas and their beliefs onto others without ever taking into consideration how it might affect the person they talking or arguing with. It is human nature to look at things from one’s perspective and act on it without thinking of how their actions would affect the people around them, even if they were warned of the consequences. The reason for that has nothing to do with the act itself but more with the result of the act in question. The result becomes so important that the act itself and its consequences would never over-weigh the results.

To say that love is complicated and not easy is an understatement. I know for a fact that there are different types of love and each one is cosmically different than the other. A good example is one saying “I love eating Pizza”, and that same person telling their partner “I love you”. Love can not be predefined, There is no way for someone to say I am looking for x, y, and z in a person and when I find that person I will fall in love with them.

Love can never be measured, the true power of love relies on vulnerability and change. The strength to be vulnerable and the will to change. Love is selfless.

For a person to be labeled as “selfish”, he or she needs to be in a position of doing something with the knowledge that whatever they are doing will have positive effects on themselves but negative ones to one or more of the people around them, yet they do it anyway. And in that scenario, two inescapable facts would cause such a person to act this way.
The first is what that person learned and experienced in their lifetime, and the second is how they were raised, including all the influences of their family and their respective society.

The ultimate combination of both selfishness and lack of experience when it comes to real love leads people to come up with the same formula of love = person + action. The formula is not wrong, but people’s interpretation of that formula and how they apply it… is. The actions of a person will most definitely show if they are acting on love or self-interest. The only problem with this formula is that the intent of the person taking the action and the reaction of the person being affected by that action are mechanical. People tend to have some expectations of what is to come from a relationship. These expectations are then listed and engraved in their minds. As a result, whenever someone enters a relationship, they compare the actions of their significant other with that list. In this case, the list will act as a pre-requirement for the relationship.

The first thing I want to point out is that the probability of two people having a list and that list applying to both is close to impossible. Even if it was possible, the outcome would be the same. The reason for that is the list itself. These lists only reflect the needs and satisfaction of one person. Placing a person under a microscope to see if they act a certain way or not, removes the enjoyment from the act itself. Here is a good example, say you got home on your birthday expecting your significant other to have a gift waiting for you on your doorstep. This expectation is based on personal knowledge of yourself and the expectation that your significant other knows it as well. The enjoyment of finding that gift will make you smile and confirms the significant other’s knowledge of what makes you happy. In contrast, removing these expectations will result in you having that awe moment when you see the gift significantly increasing your attraction to each other.

Want: What a person wants or think they want. (a person can live without having what they want as long as their needs are met.)

Need: A person can not survive without their needs being met (a need is something inescapable like eating, going to the bathroom, having a Netflix subscription, etc…)

How would you rate your current love life?

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I will leave you with one of the most inspiring videos I watched about love (you can also find it in my Monthly Featured Video Collection). In this video, Abraham Twerski explains in his own way people’s approach to what love is.