How does one climb up from a pit so deep that all you can see at the top is more darkness? At least I thought I was climbing up. Instead, it turned out that everyone around me was trying to pull me up while in turn, I was pushing “Myself” down further. I only understood the consequences of why I did what I did when I thought that I reached the bottom of the pit. What I didn’t know is that this pit goes down even deeper than that. Life waits for no one, the reason for that is time. There is no escaping time and there is no running away from it. It is what develops us, what defines us and who we are. The only time you ever experience the weight of time is when we feel its passing in every inch of our body and mind. Funny, the word passing is key here and is also used when someone dies and we say “they passed away”.Would this mean that time dies? The problem associated with time is our memories of events that affect our emotions so deeply that it engraves itself in our minds. It does so but also it alters itself, it changes every time we look at it. As I mentioned hitherto, the mind does not recall exact moments with one hundred percent accuracy if the event in question happened years earlier. But why?
When we try to remember an event, we scarcely remember the feelings associated with it and some minor details of what happened. The mind subsequently combines these together and tries to come up with the best-match scenario of the event. The fundamental importance of our emotions and how we feel towards a certain event or person, the mind crafts them in our mind as well as our subconscious. Later, when we see these people again or perform said action, our subconscious jumps back to the moment of our previous experience, analyze then reflect our feelings and emotions from/at that time.
I was grateful to my life, to what I had and the way I was raised but there was, like many others, problems that were at that time, to me, unimportant. I didn’t give them much thought till years later when I discovered traits about “Myself” that I had never imagined I had. Never in many years, had I thought I would think, act or feel the way I did and that raised a question mark. Was I blind to my true Identity, or was I just neglecting the fact that these traits ever existed?